Thursday, September 4, 2014

My Thoughts on Thursday

This is my first Thursday in Septemeber and sometimes, I still have to be kind to myself. Yes, this was one of my lesson's I learned in August and it's been a little struggle even though we are only four days in. I blog because it's my way of relieving myself of the guilt behind my daughter's death and trying to find some logic behind, why she had to leave so soon. Why I am still here? These are the things, I struggle with every day.

I thought my life was moving along great and at the age of 37 I was burying my 15 year old daughter. Some people say time heals almost everything, give the time, sometime. Boy oh boy, I wish this time will go by fast. So, I am using this time to heal the heart's of other's who might be feeling the same way I do. Yes, the time will come, when we don't get up in the middle of the night and cry, but we will never forget our loved ones.

During this process I learn to stop thinking too much, because I gave myself permission to say I don't know all the answers. It took me 37 years to actually give myself permission to say I don't know. I grow up in a household, where if you don't know an answer you was made fun of; so you just start making up answers so you can just be okay. The death of my 15 year old daughter finally made me realize, that I don't have to know everything, Stop THINKING TOO MUCH.

My last thoughtful, thought on this Thursday is that I will leave you is Don't Compare your Life with others, You have NO IDEA what their journey is all about. It's easy to read an article and say, if I was this person, I'll do this? But, would you, if you was in their journey? Think about this before you start casting judgement based on what you read or see; their journey may be bigger than you see.