Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Your Child May not be Here Tomorrow

This is a tough topic for me because it truly hits home for my household. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. The ugly word suicide is something that no family wants to talk about nor endure. I'm going to take you on my daughter's journey, the cries for help that everyone ignores; even when her own mother was pledging for someone to listen to her. It's tough to sit back and watch your sweet innocent young lady turn into a stranger over the course of nine year's and ultimately, cost her life. So I'm telling my story to help another mom know the signs of suicide, it may save your child's life one day.

Me and my ex-husband shared custody of my daughter for a total of 15 year's. We have been in and out of court for the last nine year's before she took her life. My daughter never really got to tell her story in words, but she did tell them through her actions, that she needed help. I was the only one that saw and voice that she needed help and was ignored by everyone that was set-up to protect my daughter. 

I am figuring the toll of being molested at the age of six and telling trusted adults, that didn't do anything but ignore, or beat her for saying she was lying took a greater toll on her than anyone can imagine. I tried to tell her story to every judge, newspaper, attorney, GAL, therapist that would listen to me; but all I got was I was trying to keep my daughter away from my ex-husband and his family. 

All of the warning signs were there and family court, her father, grandmother and her molester ignore every last cry. I got a call from her father stating that she ran away again and she doesn't know where she might have gone. She was only 12 years old, but like always I go to the court file my motions and always get turned around from saving my baby girl. She was running away because she felt hopeless and trapped and that was her way escaping from the pain. 

She ran away again, when she was 13 years old and this time she is having a baby; so I go to the court one more time to try to make a plea, that my daughter has to be anywhere but there; once again I was ignored. That was the last time I saw my baby girl alive. 

The reason why I blog is to help grieve through the pain so I don't lose myself through the guilt of why I didn't try hard enough, even though I emptied out all of my savings to try to save her. Before a child or teen commit suicide there are warning signs, such as the one's above and some of these below as well. 

When Depression is more than a Phase:
  • Abrupt personality changes
  • Dramatic mood change
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Feeling trapped
  • Hostile Behavior
  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities
  • Withdrawing from family, friends, and society
  • Increasing alcohol or drug use
  • Giving away possessions
Here's a number you can call to talk 1.800.273.8255

Thanks for listening and please don't say sorry or sorry for your lost; just share the story to save someone's child. 




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